September 2005

Today I went to the Plymouth Cider Mill with my sister & geeky niece (see above). I nice time was had by all. I got a gallon of fresh cider, 1/2 doz. cider house donuts, & 1/2 peck of Gala apples… yummy!
Here are several pics of my niece & a few of the animals that live at the orchard.

My sis & Autumn

This last pic is Autumn showing off her missing front teeth! She has 3 gone now! 🙂

I want to thank everyone for their kind posts this past week. Its been rough going, but things are getting better. My husband has even starting sucking up a bit.. ya notice that the pics are actually pretty good? Thats because he bought me a new digital camera out of the blue! He also went all over on Tuesday to get me the new Neil Gaiman book in hardcover. LOL I don’t know if these are his attempts at an apology or just fabulous parting gifts, but I’ll take ’em anyways! 🙂

I got a little more knitting done on Torgeir, but I still haven’t finished the back. I will post some pics of it soon though.


First of all, I want to thank you all for the support you have given me over the whole Red Cross thing. It really means alot to me!!

It looks like I am hitting a hard patch in life & I have no idea how long it will last, or where I will be at the end of it. I don’t want to get into a lot of detail right now, but it looks like my marriage is in trouble & I had no idea. I knew my husband was unhappy, but I attributed it mostly to the problems he has been having at work & the demands placed on him by his family. Apparently, although he loves me & says I am his best friend, he is not sure that we will be happy in the “long run”. He said that I am not ambitious enough & that he feels like he is my father. YIKES!

So, at this point we are looking for a good counselor, but honestly I don’t know how much that will help. We already have good communication & don’t express our feelings in screaming fits of rage. Plus, while there are behaviors that we both have that are annoying, that doesn’t seem to be the problem. From what I have gathered it seems to be aspects of my personality that are the problem.

I think the worst part is that all weekend he hasn’t wanted to talk about it & has been trying to act like everything is normal. Being silly & playful, wanting to spend all our time together. This is just making me even more anxious because I don’t know where I stand.

So, that is what is going on right now. Haven’t done any knitting in days.. heck, I haven’t really eaten in days either. I will try to keep up the journal in the coming weeks, but forgive me if there are long periods of silence.


So, as some of you know I had signed up with the Red Cross to be deployed for Hurricane Relief. Well, it turns out I am not going. I went through all the training & even got my inoculations, but it just isn’t going to happen. You see, I have an anxiety disorder. Even though it is pretty much under control with medication, every once in a while when I am under great stress I will have a panic attack; heart palpitations, inability to focus, general anxiety. Well, I had a big one on Friday. Huge. This was a big red flag. I ended up calling the Red Cross and asked to be removed from National Deployment.

I feel like crap about the whole thing. I really wanted to go down there and help, but I guess my body is smartier than my brain and realized this was a situation I wasn’t equiped to handle. At least it happened before I was deployed. The last thing they need down there is someone freaking out who was sent down there to help.

So thats the scoop. Still here, staying here. I suck.

Oh, and here is a little insight into how my brain works

Your Brain’s Pattern

Your brain is always looking for the connections in life.
You always amaze your friends by figuring out things first.
You’re also good at connecting people – and often play match maker.
You see the world in fluid, flexible terms. Nothing is black or white.
What Pattern Is Your Brain?

This should also say that although I may see & desire flexibility, there needs to be an underlying structure. I am all for, lets get in the car & drive around.. as long as there is an eventual destination planned.

1. Are you a yarn snob (do you prefer higher quality and/or natural fibers)? Do you avoid Red Heart and Lion Brand? Or is it all the same to you?
I am a bit of a yarn snob in that I only use higher quality yarns. I am not acrylic phobic, nor do I think its a bad word. However, I do use primarily natural fibers.

2. Do you spin? Crochet?
yes & yes

3. Do you have any allergies? (smoke, pets, fibers, perfume, etc.)
I am allergic to many perfumes. Also, strong scents tend to give me a headache.

4. How long have you been knitting?
about 7 yrs

5. Do you have an Amazon or other online wish list?
yep, links are on my sidebar

6. What’s your favorite scent? (for candles, bath products etc.)
coconut lime verbena from Bath and Body Works; cucumber-melon

7. Do you have a sweet tooth?
I am borderline diabetic so I try to avoid the sweets, but dark chocolate is my favorite.

8. What other crafts or Do-It-Yourself things do you like to do?
anything fiber related. weave, spin, a little sewing, etc.

9. What kind of music do you like? Can your computer/stereo play MP3s? (if your buddy wants to make you a CD)
I listen to a variety of music but predominately to Alternative (Tom Waits, 10,000 Maniacs, Cake, Aimee Mann)

10. What’s your favorite color? Or–do you have a color family/season/palette you prefer? Any colors you just can’t stand?
I am fond of cool colors (blues, greens & purples)

11. What is your family situation? Do you have any pets?
Married, no kids, 5 cats

12. What are your life dreams? (really stretching it here, I know)
I would love to do fiber for a living, have a couple kids & a house.

13. What is/are your favorite yarn/s to knit with?
merino & alpaca are my favorite fibers. Love the Debbie Bliss line of yarns. Been coveting Manos for a while, but haven’t tried it yet. 🙂

14. What fibers do you absolutely *not* like?
any scratchy or poorly made

15. What is/are your current knitting obsession/s?
hmmm, not really obsessed right now. I do want to make a fisherman’s sweater & a fair isle sweater, but don’t think I’m there yet.

16. What is/are your favorite item/s to knit?
Right now? Sweaters.. but it changes

17. What are you knitting right now?
Torgier by Elsebeth Lavold and a shawl for myself. I have about 5 more projects cast-on, but those are what I am actively working on.

18. What do you think about ponchos?
I agin em, but that’s just for me personally. I have nothing against anyone else wearing a poncho.

19. Do you prefer straight or circular needles?
love em both.

20. Bamboo, aluminum, plastic?
prefer Bamboo & Birch, but like to use aluminum for certain yarns.

21. Are you a sock knitter?

22. How did you learn to knit?
a friend’s mom taught me

23. How old is your oldest UFO?
about 5 months?

24. What is your favorite animated character or a favorite animal/bird?
The Nightmare before Christmas is my favorite animated movie.. love all the characters!

25. What is your favorite holiday?
Halloween & Christmas

26. Is there anything that you collect?
yarn & needles

27. What knitting magazine subscriptions do you have?
none, but used to subscribe to Spin-Off. Would love an Interweave Knits subscription.

28. Any books out there you are dying to get your hands on?
not right now.

29. Any patterns you have been coveting, but haven’t bought for one reason or another??
Love “River” in the new Rowan Magazine. Really want to make that one, but don’t really like the rest of the patterns.

You’re beautiful, I love you & someday I will knit you, Stornoway, but today is not that day!

So, the trip to Threadbear got postponed due to gas prices & commitment conflics.. namely, my honey is stage managing a music fest all weekend where the promoters don’t feel it necessary to feed the workers, so I have to keep running meals to him. Luckily the festival isn’t too far from home, but it is a football Saturday in Ann Arbor & traffic is hell!

Anywho, the main excuse to drive to Threadbear was to get yarn for Stornoway. The yarn still needed to be got, this puppy is knit on size 2 needles & if I had any hope for finishing it by xmas I had to start it today. Since Threadbear was out of the picture, I drove to Knit A Round (where I still had a 20% coupon burning a hole in my wallet)! As luck would have it, Keely was working and she was able to rather quickly discern that I was indeed insane & that they didn’t have anything that would work, at least not in the quantity that I would need & it would take at least a month to get in if I special ordered it. 😦

Trying to salvage this pattern somehow I wandered around for another 30 minutes & then finally caved in & started looking at other patterns. After changing my mind 3 times I finally found this one…

This is Torgeir by Elsebeth Lavold, it’s in Designer’s Choice Book One: The Viking Collection which has a bunch of beautiful patterns! Its similar in feel to Stornoway, but is knit with dk instead of sport & is on US size 6. Can I get a Woo Hoo? Here’s a closeup of the cables, sorry for the graininess (crappy camera, ‘member?)…

The pattern calls for Silky Wool, but the owner told me they were out & weren’t reordering. However she did help me find out the yardage of said yarn & determined how much I would need of this…

Debbie Bliss, oh how I love you! Your yarns are the yummiest! Knit A Round had all sixteen skeins I needed in the same dye lot & I was able to use my 20% coupon on the yarn, pattern book & needles! Whee!

I would like to send a special thanks to Keely for all her help and patience with this crazy lady! I’m sure she was glad to see me leave after pestering her for 2 hours. Seriously dude, you rock! 🙂

Ok, off to knit the puppy!

Joanne wants to see a pic of me wearing the Cathay top, & since she is my best bud & lives in Seattle(so she can’t see it in person) here I am…

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Sure, not the greatest pic, but my arms are only so long! 😀

In other knits news, I am just puttering around with ufos until I can make the trek to threadbear this weekend. Elisha & possibly Denise may come with, which will be a lot of fun. I have been wanting to go there for months & I can hardly wait til Saturday! Whee!